Melancholy Coaching Podcast
✨ Welcome to the Melancholy Coaching Podcast! I'm Fran, your host and NLP coach.
Join me as I interview inspiring business owners and self-improvement seekers about their experiences. Do you have an inspirational story to tell?
Please send an email to info@melancholymentor.com to apply as one of my valued guests.
Melancholy Coaching Podcast
Equine Energy & Empowerment - With Alison
✨ Hello I'm Fran your NLP coach, and in this episode I'm interviewing Alison Sandford-Gent about her journey of empowerment.
Meet Alison—an equestrian mindset coach and lifelong horsewoman with a first-class degree in applied animal behavioral science and welfare. She’s a dedicated teacher, Reiki master, and played a key role in establishing national standards for reiki practice on animals.
You can connect to Alison in the following ways ⬇️
https://www.facebook.com/alison.sandford.50
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090340496615
https://www.instagram.com/riding_beyond_limits_coaching/
https://rblcoaching.co.uk/
Find me @ www.melancholymentor.com
As a coach, I listen without judgment, understanding that others’ views may differ from my own.
#nlpcoach #nlpcoaching #creativity #inspiration #transformation
For more about what I do ➡️ www.melancholymentor.com
If you are interested in being a guest and have an inspirational story to tell, then drop me an email at info@melancholymentor.com
#nlpcoach #inspiration #motivation #business #personaldevelopment
Hello everyone, welcome to the Melancholy Coaching Podcast. I'm Fran, your host and NLP coach. Join me as I interview inspiring business owners and self-improvement seekers about their experiences, while delving into personal development, motivation and strategies for overcoming challenges. Let's ignite our creative potential together. Challenges let's ignite our creative potential together. Hello and welcome to the Melancholy Coaching Podcast. I'm Fran, your NLP coach, and I'm delighted to introduce a remarkable equestrian mindset coach to the show.
Fran:She's a lifelong horsewoman with a first class honours degree in applied animal behavioural science and welfare. She's quite a mouthful for me. She's a dedicated teacher, Reiki master and part of the subcommittee that helped establish the national occupation standards for Reiki practice on animals. She's incredible, Passionate advocate for both horses and people. Alison has a rich personal history as a blended family, mum to two girls, three boys, she's recently married her partner of 27 years and she has a little grandchild.
Fran:Alison was diagnosed at the age of 43 with spinal and I'm probably going to pronounce this wrong spinal. I can't, Alison, help me. Dysraphism, Right, Spinal dysraphism Okay, pronunciation's not my strongest point which includes spina bifida, which makes more sense to me, actually, because that's something I have definitely heard of. Alison underwent three neurological surgeries between 2010 and 2020, two on her lower back and one on her neck, which in itself is just incredible that you do the amount that you do now. Despite these challenges, she now rides as a para rider and has completed briefly in endurance riding A horse. I'm going to say Elle, longer name. Elle is a purebred Arab horse with the Para Equestrian Foundation supporting para athletes in developing the mindset needed to succeed and represent the UK in dressage, endurance and carriage driving. Amazing Alison Sanford-Gent. Welcome to the show. Thank you. I'm so pleased you're here and thank you for helping me out with the pronunciation.
Alison:I'm pleased to be here. I guess lipomyelium and gisele would have been a bit much.
Fran:It would. I do my best. You know I do my best, but it's not my strong suit. I also mix up letters and numbers and things like that. So you know, we're all here doing our best, aren't we? Absolutely, absolutely, and I do exactly the same thing all right, I have got three pre-prepared questions for you and we'll have a bit of a chat around them, if that's okay. So my first question for you is can you share with us your journey from being a lifelong horsewoman to becoming an equestrian mindset coach?
Alison:I know it's been around 60 years. I mean, it's a bit of a long story. So I guess that passion for horses is hereditary. My grandfather was in the Royal Horse Artillery and trained the guys. It skipped my mum. My mum was terrified of horses, but I just had that. It's in the blood. It's really in the blood. So nagging, protesting. You know what do they call it A child pester power, pester power. I eventually got some horse riding lessons, much to my mum's disgust, because she believed I would get a big backside.
Alison:Now there's a limiting belief, for you know, if ever I've heard one, yeah, but for me it was much better than ballet, because I was way too uncoordinated for ballet and God and carrying this, this, this spinal stuff which none of us knew anything about. So you know, I was, I was quite uncoordinated actually. So sitting on a horse was much easier. So I went through a couple of riding schools and then for my 18th birthday, what did I buy? A purebred Arab filly foal, which if I was saying that to anybody in the horse world they would be going. But my friend had moved from Kentent, where we were at school together, down to cornwall. She, she got herself this three-quarter bread, arab and I. I just fell in love with them. I fell in love with the arab as a, as a, as a breed, as a, you know, and then went on. I backed her myself. I didn't have a lot of tuition. I didn't have a lot of money for the tuition and riding lessons that I needed, so a lot of it was done with intuition. Then came in, I became a complementary therapist, got into Reiki, realized how Reiki could be used on animals and horses. One of my horses got really ill with it's called tying up, but basically all the muscles. It's a very dangerous condition, acute condition. Fortunately she survived. But through all that I met a wonderful equine osteopath called Gavin Schofield and that was quite a long, long relationship. I was racing my horses under jockey club rules for Arab racing and we did all right. Actually we had a few places and I was up against, like Sheikh Maktoum and Sheikh Mohammed and the Galloways Bill Smith these were quite big names who as an amateur, were racing as Arabs, racing their Arabs pretty much from the thoroughbred world, and we did all right. You know, as a plucky amateur it was fine.
Alison:And then you know sort of blended families. Mum and dad got elderly and sadly passed away. I was still quite young, I was in my 30s. Marriage broke up, you know the whole life. So I managed to hang on to one or two of one or two of my horses grim death, gritted teeth and all went quiet. And I'd I'd, while I was a complementary therapist and about sort of just finishing up about 2008, I'd come across all this animal behavior. Finishing up about 2008, I'd come across all this animal behavior, stuff like that. Didn't see how it sat with the Reiki, but you know I was picking up on it a lot Thought. Do you know what actually I needed more for my brain to do so I decided I was going to do the UNICORSlied Animal Behavioural Science and Welfare, and my dissertation was around Reiki on horses. So that was three years.
Alison:But in 2009, the end of my first year of uni, my back went, and that wasn't the first episode. I'd been seeing osteopaths and what have you for a number of years with back pain and shoulder pain and you know. And so I went. I literally I was due an exam slung a hay net over my shoulder and back went. I was like, oh, this could be a bit tricky for the old exam. So I days when you could get a doctor's appointment, whoopee went down to the doctors and he went you got this symptom, that symptom, I'm gonna send you for an x-ray. You're not going to your exam. I was like, oh, that wasn't quite what I intended. I just wanted a sick note in case. I didn't do very well. Ends up in A&E and X-ray on my back. And they went oh, we're going to give you an MRI, okay.
Fran:Oh, that's a bit more than a sick note.
Alison:Yeah, okay, oh, that's a bit more than a sick note, yeah, yeah. So the the, the MRI came back and there was this very enthusiastic young doctor who went oh, I can refer you. I'm like, oh god, give me some cheese quick. I think I'm growing a tail, I think I'm becoming a lab rat, and that let, that was then. Uh, so that was the summer.
Alison:So Friday, the 13th of November, all days I was given my diagnosis, which was split spinal cord, tethered spinal cord wow, spina bifida. And then, you know, because, starting to get old, at the age of 43, my discs were starting to collapse. And then later I was told my facet joint, which is the little wing on the back of the vertebrae. So, you know, you've got your vertebraes like that and then they've got the little wings. Well, the little wing on the back of one of my vertebraes was eroding, it was just disintegrating. So, early February 2010, I had my first operation and actually the wonderful paediatric neurosurgeon, chris Chandler he's now retired had said to me well, I won't know until I get in there what I'm actually going to find, but what we want to do is we want to snip this little bit of tissue that we think is caught on the end of your spinal cord and you know sort of free your spinal cord, so it does what it should do is float free in the spinal column.
Fran:Sounds, easy enough Sounds about?
Alison:no, no, no. So what they do? They go in. They go in through your vertebrae and then through the little sack that your spinal cord sits in and all the spinal fluid, and they open that up and they go in with their little tiny tools and they try and snip stuff away. Mine wasn't that easy, because my this little bit of it is fatty tissue. So it's not there's no, no risk that it's going to be cancerous or anything like that. But my nerve roots had grown through this piece of fat, which meant that they couldn't cut it away for fear of actually paralyzing me, because all of those nerves do something, do stuff in your lower abdomen, in your legs and feet. So that was the first one.
Fran:Second one was the scar tissue from the first, to get rid of that and okay, that's interesting though that, yeah, the second surgery was literally to remove the scar tissue yeah, and this is what people don't realize.
Alison:Because what happens with scar tissue? It's like, sadly, you see, you know on burns victims that they that this, it will scar, that's great, but then it matures and it shrinks. So what was happening? It was, it was crushing again. So that was, that was that one. But psychologically it really hits, hits right the top of that chain, it hits your identity, because for 40-odd years I'd been running around as somebody who'd been stunt, riding motorbikes and riding horses, backing horses, getting on horses that you know other people wouldn't get on, and you know life had had its trials. But basically, you know I had a bit of pain here and there, but you know I was carrying around this massive malformation or malformations, which is why it's dysraphism, because that applies to multiple changes.
Fran:My nemesis word. Yeah, yeah, dysraphism. Yes, dysraphism applies to multiple changes.
Alison:My nemesis word, yeah, yeah, just just wrap this up. Yes, so this mass, these massive changes, uh, and of course I hadn't known about it, but there was. I had little red mark across my sacrum, which is one of the side. 40 of people with this kind of thing let's just start with the spina bifida have a some sort of skin lesion, they call it. Yeah, I had no idea about so, but you know it. Mine was strawberry birthmark. My mum had had a craving for strawberries while she was pregnant with me. Oh, look, there's the evidence, right, you know, but this was 1965, you know it's, you know.
Fran:I've got a birthmark shaped like a potato.
Alison:Have you no.
Fran:Anyway, moving on.
Alison:Moving on, unless it's across your you you know sort of sacrum or in your it, you know. But anyway, so that that was that. That's, you know, tis as it is. So that massively hit my I, I, my sense of identity. There were knock-ons, knock-on stuff, you know, in my mobility I felt very vulnerable at times and it was, you know, it was tough, and you've got five teenage children at that point as well.
Fran:Just, out of interest. Where does the neck surgery fit into that?
Alison:Oh right, so we've done 2010,. We've done 2015 for the scar tissue and, of course, the hospital was keeping an eye on me and what have you? So one of my superpowers for staying on a horse is lightning quick reflexes in my knees. Superpowers for staying on a horse is lightning quick reflexes in my knees fabulous, because you know, the horse does something. My knees go and I managed to stay on most times, which is quite good, but I was. I was experiencing more symptoms and and and the reflexes in my knees were checked.
Alison:Now, reflexes, maybe some people were. You know, for a lot of people, a reflex is either there or it's not. It's, you know, my reflexes were like, really brisk, you know, like lightning. They are lightning reflexes and who knew that can indicate issues in the neck reflexes and who knew that can indicate issues in the neck? So this was about 2018-19, heading into the pandemic, and what had happened is obviously where I had adapted to walk. You know, right from the earliest times, the discs wore out in my neck. So what started to happen was that those discs were bulging and they were essentially rubbing on my spinal cord and the nerves emerging in my neck. So c5, c6 and c6 and c7. So the MRI revealed that that that's what was happening that my, my spinal cord was being impacted and my, my, the nerves into my hands and arms were being was being impacted, and the flow of cerebral spinal fluid past that area was quite restricted, which was kind of bearable at first, but it deteriorated and it started to deteriorate quite rapidly in 2020.
Alison:So, and of course, we're then dealing with the pandemic, and you may remember that some of the private beds had been, almost had been seconded by the nhs to deal with non-urgent patients or urgent patients that weren't to do with covid. So I, I, you know lack of communication, everybody's distracted by covid, blah, blah. I had been referred on to a specialist neck surgeon and had happened to find out, or happened to find out, I'd seen him for a consultation, been told that if I wanted to slum it in King's private wing, that would be 17,000, thank you very much. Or if I wanted to go to Harley Street, it would be 24 000, thank you very much. Or if I wanted to go to harley street, it would be 24, thank you very much. Neither of which was open to me as an option, and so went back to kings. Kings kind of went and I managed to get hold of the bed manager and explain symptoms, explain the lack of communication.
Alison:From by then I was quite regularly so poorly I had to go. I was going to A&E and they got back to me very, very quickly in the end and went oh yes, you are now an urgent case. So off I went to Harley Street, got my neck fixed so I got spacers put between the. The discs came out, spacers put between my vertebrae to keep them apart, keep the pressure off, and then little brackets between between the vertebrae. So I don't know if you can see, I don't know if it shows on my neck, but there's a very, very fine scar on my neck.
Fran:These surgeries that you've had, are they now kind of for want of a better expression are they permanent surgeries, you know, are they something that has to be gone back into, or is that it now?
Alison:They. No, I had. I had a really bad episode at the beginning of 2024 where one of my discs again one of my, one of my other one of my discs has exploded. There's nothing between two of my vertebrae. One of my call it obliterated. It's a good word, isn't it? Yeah, and so one of my other discs between L2 and 3, again was was herniated, so I lost a lot of mobility in my right leg. It was collapsing and they basically told me there that they were not going to operate, they would not operate to fix it. And you know, actually I'm quite grateful, grateful. We go back to the scar tissue thing and you know it, you, a lot of people think that surgeries will, will, are a permanent fix.
Alison:Yeah, that's why I was asking, because I wondered yeah, they, they cure the acute issue or they you know sort of, but they they. You then have to manage them because of the scar tissue. Yeah, so it's the. It's keeping mobile, it's keeping doing your physiotherapy exercises every day. It's going back to see the osteopath. I, I see an osteopath once a month. I now have a massage therapist in as well, because that is the way I keep going. And yes, it costs money. I'm very fortunate I work, I've got a reasonable job. I prioritize that in my spending and that's the way to look at it. But I don't have to take so many drugs. You know, my, my, my drugs are a last resort. I can have anything I want. I could have morphine I, you know, I've got morphine patches if I want them. But they are a very much a last resort because of the side effects of the drugs. I hate them. I hate it right.
Fran:So tell me, tell me more about you've mentioned my, you've mentioned mindset within that, yeah, and about the kind of the how that affects your identity, because then that's you know, that can then affect your mindset. So lead this on to how you become an equestrian mindset coach oh well do you know what I?
Alison:I was stopped from riding when my neck was diagnosed. Okay, I was stopped from riding and I was like, oh yeah, all right, I understand I that.
Alison:And then this horse came onto my yard, another Arab. I clicked with him and I was like it was like a homecoming my other half. By then I was over the operation, I've rehabbed, and he's like, oh God, I really can't stand you not riding so and then we I was looking for something to do and a way to be helpful, so I did a couple. I organized a couple of sponsored rides, raised about six grand for the Brain and Spine Foundation. Amazing, well done. But that wasn't. Actually it was nine because I had three one year and six and x. But I wanted to do something more. I wanted to help people. I knew I had experience and knowledge and understanding that was quite a lot different from the mainstream, but knew it worked, yeah, and got introduced or or brought back to the idea of coaching that I'd investigated, sort of all those years ago.
Alison:In 2008 and nine, I qualified as NLP practitioner, started to do the coaching, got distracted and then up pops the idea of coaching again and that's obviously how you and I came into contact with each other and I like the idea of that. And part of the idea of coaching, as you well know, is to niche. And I'm like, well, what can be my niche can be my niche. And initially I was thinking well, you know, I can coach people who are in chronic pain because I live with pain every every day. I function, I'm fine, I managed to work and I've got a lot of experience on how to manage pain.
Alison:And a friend of mine who I'd met at one of the para riding things she had gone in for an operation, was suffering really badly with her pain messaged her and said, look, you know, would you be interested in us having a chat? And she said yes, and she's a very similar mindset to me, loves connecting people, you know the right people with each other. So we, you know we can network and all help each other. And she said, oh, do you know Di? I know nobody. Oh, you must know Di, she's lovely, she's wonderful. And I was like, oh, no, no, but you know anyway.
Alison:So this went on over a couple of our chats. I said, oh, I'll introduce you. So in the end, I, you know, I, I seized the moment. I said, um, you were gonna, you were gonna introduce me and die, do you know, do you fancy it? And she, oh, yeah. So then there she's messaging. Puts me in touch with Di Green, who's the founder of the Para Equestrian Foundation. Di used to be on the British squad for dressage, had an acquired brain injury through a horse accident and has ended up being a para rider and out of the pandemic she. She was saying sorry, do you want to pause the recording just a second for me? Yeah, sorry, I'm just.
Alison:OK, he was introduced to die, die, yeah, as as, as you know, a chronic pain coach and we got, we got chatting.
Alison:Die is amazing and lovely and driven and wants to support as many para athletes to represent the country, their country, in para, para dressage or carriage driving or what have you as possible. Now, whereas there's multi-millions in the able-bodied world for riding and you know sort of the equestrian sports, we have the additional that, one, there's not a lot of money and two, we need a heck of a lot more support in terms of, you know, because of the cost. The costs of it are huge, it and you need you need a really good team around you. You know, if you need two people to get you onto a horse, you know that takes a lot. And then you know you've got all the same needs for your horses as everyone else, whether that's the saddler, the bits, the feed, the whole works. You know the list is extraordinary Because it's not just you as an athlete, your horse is the athlete as well, you know. So it's it's double bubble anyway. So we started chatting.
Fran:Did you just say double bubble? Yeah, I love that. That's such a fun expression. That's a fun expression, it's really nice Double bubble.
Alison:But you know, we got chatting and the mindset came up and she kind of was talking as we were chatting. She's like, oh well, I, you know, do goals and this, that and the other. And I was talking about sort of all the wider implications, all the limiting beliefs, and you know, when people are carrying trauma, how that affects them. And so many, so many paras carry trauma from, you know, not just the everyday stuff of their interactions with other people, having accidents on their horses, losing horses, road traffic accidents which, believe me, if a horse is involved in a road traffic accident it is horrific and you know and then from their own medical conditions and their own medical procedures, because that brings its trauma as well.
Alison:So we were talking about this and she got me on one of her monthly calls with her athletes and we were chatting through some of the stuff and I was talking to a lovely lady who's a physiotherapist but then has her own medical conditions as well and what she hadn't disclosed was that one of her things is she has Tourette's and we went through this lovely relaxation exercise and everybody was joining in and it was, it was was great and we were dealing with, you know sort of letting go of stuff and you know relaxing or wonderful. And then she looked direct at the camera and let out this, this phrase. That was completely nothing to do with the scene.
Fran:So it was completely out of context.
Alison:It was completely out of context. Completely out of context and she'd done a couple of things and I'd kind of paused and said are you all right to carry on? She said, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Anyway, she's got, and she's come out with this phrase, which was hilarious and completely out of context as a Tourette can be, and I'm like, oh my goodness, and I hadn't come across, my goodness, and I hadn't come across. Not, I hadn't come across Tourette's before, but in my mind, my preconceived idea was that a Tourette was caused through stress and I thought, oh my God, I've stressed her out, you know.
Fran:And she then explained OK, so that that was a bit of a misconception, which potentially we can all have if it's not our direct experience and we don't know. We have to learn these things, don't we?
Alison:So I managed. I managed to keep my very professional mask on and just made sure she was all right and she was okay. And then she explained that it also happens when she's very, very relaxed and calm and happy this.
Fran:This is where I feel that exchanges between people and communication and things like that. It's just so valuable, isn't it? You know, we learn about each other, we learn how to support each other. Your story is really one of not just a journey, but it's the growth involved in that as well, absolutely your whole story, the growth in it and then how you can now pay that forward to others and help them.
Alison:This is leading beautifully onto my next question for you can I just finish this little story, because it's really good tell me, because I'm going to prepare this next question, because I want to know.
Alison:I'm quite curious about how you're going to answer this girl, having been really worried about riding, ridden with a lot of guilt about putting upon her family who support her to ride, her family who support her to ride, went out the weekend, went out on a five-hour ride, tumbled off at the end into some grass, didn't hurt herself, got back on. Two weeks later she went out and competed and came second in her class. There you go. So that was the real, you know, a real change for her. And then I think that managed to cement my place in the foundation.
Fran:As coaches, we support that transformation within people, so it's taking you from where you are right now on that transformational journey to who you want to be or where you want to be, and that almost sounds as though it happened accidentally. However, but due to your training and the person being, you know, responding to your training, it felt quite natural yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alison:And. And do you know what? The coach? The coach training me the chance to grow. I hadn't realized that, how much I'd shut down through all of my own trials and tribulations and the trauma of the operations to open up as a person very much, and and and reconnect with the core of who I am and who I want to be.
Fran:Yeah, that's that's important as well, isn't it? Because it's not only you know who we are, it's where we're going, who we're choosing to be as well, because we can make those choices. Yeah, I'm loving this. Right, I've got, I've got a good one for you. Next, are you ready? Go on. What are some of the common mindset challenges you see in athletes, riders, and how do you help them to overcome these?
Alison:a lot of it is loss of confidence, anxiety, fear. I mean. Who in their right mind would get on an animal, a prey animal that can gallop away at 40 miles an hour if they want to and, you know, dump you like that. You know it. It it's 20 times more dangerous than riding a motorbike, getting on a horse. So for any, any any parent out there, don't worry. Don't worry if your teenager's getting on a motorbike, worry about them getting a horse. It it's such a common thing that it's accumulated over the years. So when somebody has gone through like most people do, they've gone through a tough childhood in whatever way that has manifested. And then you add on all the life's traumas and then you're getting on an animal that's 500 kilos and dashing off into the distance. It is about helping them overcome fear, helping them to rebuild their confidence, build their confidence, helping them to overcome and release, get past those things that they've been hanging on to and are locked into their bodies. So I use a lot of NLP, obviously, timeline work, quantum transformation, visualizations, all of those kind of things, and I guess, like you will have done with your coaching, you kind of have your toolkit, your bit. You know your preferred little exercises and what have you and, and some of them you delve into more than others, but it's it's very much about the.
Alison:The mindset of people who have horses is very different, I think, to the background population and in terms of what I've just said, you know there's not many people who will get on. You know, 500 kilos to a ton of animal. That not only, yeah, I mean you think 65 million years of evolution to be a prey animal and about 4,500 years they've been domesticated. It's the blink of an eye they've been domesticated. It's a, it's the blink of an eye. So the mindset, you know we are used to getting knocked by our horses and you know, sort of bowled over, kicked, bitten, dumped off them. You know going through hell and high water literally to make sure they're all right. I mean the, the predominantly women in this country that are looking after horses. You know we spend the spend the winter wet, cold, covered in mud, not so much slipping around on snow these days, but you know they we go through that drive to go and be with them is just right, okay, so that that also lends itself to what I asked you.
Fran:So I would say that it's also to do with the, the motivation and stuff like that, isn't it so if people actually have got that passion to be around horses and a passion to be either working with or riding horses, but they have a significant injury themselves or a disability, you know, the the motivation potentially is there, oh, it's here. The fear would overcome that, wouldn't it surely?
Alison:it's, yeah, this is it, this and this is. This is the balance, this is the. You know the balance between the motivation and and and and fear. You know it, the, the, the exhilaration of being with that animal and being able to, to ride and connect. It's a very it's, it's almost spiritual, it's, it's, it's all encompassing. You know, every, every, every sense of your body, every sense, all of your mind. It's just, you just become. You know, if you've got a really good connection with your horse, you become part of that horse. You know, and the horse becomes part of you. You feel every movement. You feel. You know you'll feel the whole at the slightest hesitation it's like a synergy yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alison:If you've ever watched avatar and seen them get their little, their, their tails, their their locks, and they lock into, lock into their, their creatures, they're creatures, it's it, it's, it's that, it's that and it, it's just amazing.
Alison:So the motivation is huge and it if you ever watched, oh god, grey's Anatomy, when someone couldn't move their arm and they're like, move your arm, move your arm. And he's like, can't move my arm, can't move me, and then for some reason they had to, they needed to grab something quick, like a glass was spilling, and they just did it. Yeah, and they just did it because it wasn't, it wasn't the fact of moving the arm, it was the reward they were going to get or the impulse they were going to get. So that kind of changed the brain pathway and that's one of my favorite, that's one of my things, I mean, apart from, obviously, my own issues that are very neurologically based as well. And I also had a preexisting interest through the Reiki. My dad had a brain tumor long before I was born, so I've always had that interest in neuroscience and how the brain works.
Fran:Which I think lends itself beautifully to NLP, which I yes, thinking about it now. I should have actually clarified this in the beginning. By NLP we mean neuro-linguistic programming, which is to do with the communication, so the way that your brain communicates with yourself and how you communicate with others, how we think about ourselves, how we talk to ourselves, and I feel like it. It does lend itself to that kind of exploration of neuroscience as well. That's not an avenue that I've gone down.
Fran:I stick quite very much so within the NLP range, and it fascinates me that we've had a similar training as such, although our life experiences are quite different. We've had a similar training within coaching, and I apply my coaching in a, you know, a completely different way, yeah, a completely different way. So a lot of mine is based on not just limiting beliefs and stuff like that, but it's the motivation, it's the, the action plans, the goal setting, the planning, you know, the building and building your, your mind and your, your resilience and your, all your business and stuff like that absolutely so and the way you've taken similar training and similar information and you're applying it completely differently yeah, I mean, I just, I just love and I guess this came I.
Alison:I read a book and I've I've obviously mentioned it to you in the past called the pain-free mindset, by a lovely dr, deepak ravindran, and that was that.
Alison:That was very motivational for me because at that point I was still, you know, experiencing a huge amount of pain and actually validated everything that I had been doing in terms of staying as mobile as possible and, and you know, sort of taking as few drugs as possible and and doing it with lifestyle and you know mindset and drive.
Alison:My horses have been my drive, my family has been my drive to keep going. But the idea and he was very much about that you can change your neural pathways, that you know the neural pathways that can produce physical pain without, without you know inflammation and you know or trauma or infection, but that is a protective thing for you. You know your brain goes oh, I, I need to protect you from any, any chance of any more hurt, so I am going to produce the pain which will then stop you doing stuff, and and the idea that you can override that and go no, actually I am okay, I am safe, I can, can do this and you know, and and gather a, a different team around you to go, to keep you going.
Fran:Is all of this as well that we're, that we're discussing, alison and I, and for anybody listening, this all comes with no judgment. So if somebody else is more heavily reliant on on medication, because that's what they need, or different methods, there's absolutely no judgment. This is our path, what's worked for us. We love to pay it forward to help other people.
Fran:I mean, I've had a lot of pain in my life through different things and at that time I was on very heavy pain medication, let me tell you, because I would not have been able to do my day without it, you know, and I've slowly come off that. But also, yeah, it has to. It has to come with no judgment because as coaches, we just we listen to people, don't we? We listen, and it's without any preconceived ideas and it's without any judgments that we listen. So it was interesting that you caught yourself on a misconception that you potentially had about Tourette's, because that that you know it doesn't mean that we're infallible or that we're perfect. You know, we, we come with our human selves, you know, don't we? Yeah, and we've already got our built-in limited beliefs and stuff like that yeah, yeah, yeah, it's it, it, there is no joke.
Alison:And people have to be, have to want to and have to have to be themselves looking for a different way to do things. And you have to kind of. You know, there are people that are ready for coaching, ready for what you've got, ready for what I've got, yeah, you know. And there are people who are not and the people who are not, and it's not their path. That's, that's fine, that's fine, they, they. But if somebody, you know, puts their, puts their hand up and goes I want to do things differently, then we're there. Then we're there to be able to go, okay, okay, well, look, this is how I see it can be done, or this is what I've got to offer you, and that might be right for you. It might not be, but you know, what might be right for somebody who comes your way, fran, might not be right. You know, if they came to me, me I wouldn't necessarily be the right person for them, and vice versa. Yeah, you know, because coaching is such a personal thing, isn't it?
Fran:very much so, and I found that it's. I actually started my own journey of learning NLP through suffering from depression, so it was a. It was a journey of like a. My lifelong story of depression led me to eventually to look up mindfulness and to do some courses in mindfulness, and that then led me on to neurolinguistic programming and coaching, and so in I've almost it's like I've helped myself along the way and now I feel truly ready and supported to help other people. Yeah Right, I've got another question for you. Right, go on. What's the most important lesson? I feel like this leads into it quite nicely. So what's the most important lesson you've learned through your own journey that you would want others to know?
Alison:I think we come back to the no judgment and being kind to yourself. So often we beat it, beat ourselves up, and it's being open. Be you know when you're ready to grow, but there's times when you're not. You're just not. You're just surviving what you're going through. But you can allow that to pass. You can allow that not to be, to be part of your story rather than your identity and which I think is a really important message yeah, yeah, you know, I I've, I've got a a lot of stories, I've got big stories, but they're not who I am.
Alison:They're not. They're not who I am, they're not, they're not. They make up parts of me, they make the whole of, they make up towards the whole of what I am. But there's a lot of me. That's. That's not my back pain, that's.
Alison:You know, people, people always used to. I reached a point and I think it was while I was training in, in, in the coaching, when, you know, people always used to ask me first, oh, how's the horses? And then it was how's the kids? And then it was how's your back? How's your back? Yeah, yeah, and you know that was where I was in my life. Now people are saying how's married life? Is it any different to being not married? So you know, that's just another chapter, just another chapter and just another aspect of who I am. And I think, if we can, if we can just know and understand and be kind to the bits that are hurting or that do carry hurt with them or carry really hard lessons with them, yeah, then that gives us room to grow and gives us room to change when, when we're ready and when we want to yeah, so no, no judgment for ourselves, our thoughts and our past actions.
Fran:Or and it's that we can grow, we can learn, we can change, we can grow new neural pathways. We can, you know, help to help ourselves and you're there to support, right? Tell me specifically who you would like to support. If there's somebody listening right now and they think quite interested in what allison's doing, how could you support them?
Alison:how could I support them? Well, it is the coaching. It is finding out who you want to be and removing some of those blocks. Like you, like you talk about limiting beliefs. You know that that bit of you that says I'm not good enough, I, I don't know why I'm here. They're all so much better than me. You know all of those little little thoughts that hold you back, that aren't necessarily true now or don't serve you now.
Alison:I often, often think you know, some of this stuff has protected us, we've needed it to protect ourselves from whatever. And then a lot of people reach a point where actually it's not serving them, it's not getting them what they want and what they need to be a fulfilled person. So, especially in the world of horses, it's very, very tough and there's a lot of judgment. I mean, let's face it, you know, you see the, these fabulous dressage horses and you're judged. You are there is no other, there is no other terminology for it. You are judged. Is this horse foot perfect within millimetres? Do they have enough elevation? Is it too much elevation? Is it this, is it that? And the horse world is very much, very judgmental, very judgmental.
Fran:It's about having the mindset to actually deal with that.
Alison:Yeah and and put it into context.
Fran:You mentioned tools as well, because we've all got our own toolkit, haven't we? So it's having the tools and the resources, um, that you can lean into to help yourself through that, and that's what, what you can do as a coach you can provide that, that information or that transformation for people so that they've got their own toolkits and it is.
Alison:It is having that deep understanding of horses and the horse world. Yeah, and you know, just, it's putting the person at the centre, and a lot of you know what I talk about and where we start is well away from your horse. You know, because by the time you're horse, you've got to be right before you get to your horse. You've got to be in that right mindset before you get to horse. That makes absolute sense. So you know, I'm always talking to people about doing their exercises, their mindfulness, their you know, be having having their raising, their confidence because of the work that they've done with me, because of the exercises that they've done. So I start with people away from the horse.
Alison:I'm I'm not an equitation coach as such. I, I won't, I won't tell you, you know sort of how to do a better shoulder in or a better half pass or something like that. I, I won't train you to do that. What I will help you to do is gain the confidence. So when you do get on your horse, you are transmitting that confidence and that calmness into your horse.
Alison:So your horse then becomes calmer and better to deal with, easier to deal with, so that you, you become a much a deeper partnership and in terms of pain, if you're a much deeper partnership and, in terms of pain, if you're a para, I will help you, if you want to, to find additional ways to manage your pain effectively, so that you may or may not be able to reduce your pain dose, but what you will be doing will be much more effective I love it.
Fran:So thank you, thank you. It puts it really clear as well, because it's working with, with, with the people and their minds so that they're ready for going to their horses, for working with their horses, and it's also that deeper understanding that you've got of people with injuries and disabilities that are involved in the horse world, because you've really got that kind of journey yourself that lends to being able to support those people. Yeah, so you're right, you're, that's very, it's quite a oh, what's the word? It's not just niche, it's it's quite kind of not just specific either. What is it? It's a niche of niche. The niche of niche, I want to say a little bit unusual, but you know it's quite original. I, I think yeah. So thank you. I'm going to wrap this up now, ok. So, alison, thank you very much for being here with me and chatting to me.
Fran:It's been great Sharing your incredible journey, your story of resilience and dedication. You know it's very inspiring and hopefully inspiring to people that are listening and for those of you interested in learning more about alison and her work, you can find her on facebook as alison sanford gent and on instagram, riding beyond limits, coaching. And it's riding underscore, beyond underscore limits, underscore coaching. And you've got a website as well, haven't you?
Alison:yeah, rblcoachingcouk and I'm also facebook as riding beyond limits coaching and you'll see a lovely picture of l and me riding in the pouring rain okay, so please find allison and connect with her and look at a content you know, see, if you're interested.
Fran:I just for complete transparency, which I know you that you know I love horses, I love looking at horses. I do not work with horses, I don't ride horses or, but I'm just equally as fascinated with with what you do, and so even those that aren't in the horsey world, I still think that you'll find it fascinating yeah, yeah, yeah, it's.
Alison:It's all about. For me with, with the background in the welfare and you know, lifetime with horses, it's as much about making their lives as great as possible, as much as the riding which is the bit that I'm interested in because, as I love to tell, tell you and everybody, I'm vegan, so I don't ride horses or work horses or anything.
Fran:However, it's the welfare of the horses and it's the welfare of the people that I'm very interested and very invested in. So, if there's anybody else like me out there listening to this, by all means do find Alison and connect with her, because I can tell you, from like vegan to non-vegan here, like you're in safe hands, trust me, you're in safe hands, because I love Alison's content. I love hearing about her horse, I love hearing about what she's doing. It's really fascinating. So, on that note, if you're interested in more content like this, be sure to check out the Melancholy Coaching on YouTube. So it's the Melancholy Coaching YouTube. Youtube. So it's the Melancholy Coaching YouTube channel, and that's where this podcast will be, as well as in video form. So until next time, stay curious and keep igniting your creative potential. And on that note, we're going to say bye, bye. Thank you for joining me on the Melancholy Coaching Podcast. I'd love you to subscribe For queries or to connect email info at melancholymentorcom. Until next time, keep igniting your creative potential.
