Oracle Of Purpose

✨ Hello, I'm Fran Your NLP & Business Coach. In this episode, I'm interviewing Victoria Dioh about her intuition and practical leadership strategies.

Meet Victoria, an African Oracle, intuitive healer, and seer guiding high-achieving leaders who look successful on the outside but feel unfulfilled within. An international speaker, Victoria has shared her transformative message on world-class stages across the UK and Africa.  Victoria helps people discover their true purpose, are you ready to discover yours?

You can connect to Victoria in the following ways ⬇️
https://www.instagram.com/victoriadioh/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoriadioh/
https://www.skool.com/@victoria-dioh-1706
https://www.tiktok.com/@victoriadioh

Find me @ www.melancholymentor.com

As a coach, I listen without judgment, understanding that others views may differ from my own.

#nlpcoach #nlpcoaching #creativity #inspiration #transformation

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Guest Introduction
• 1:35 What An African Oracle Does
• 3:10 Host’s Experience And Early Results
• 5:40 Redefining Leadership Beyond Titles
• 9:19 Intuitive Leadership Methods Explained
• 12:32 Purpose As A Practical Foundation
• 16:30 Knowing Versus Embodying Purpose
• 19:19 Ego, Self‑Sabotage And Storms
• 23:05 Emotions, Choice And Recalibration
• 27:05 Boundaries, Money And Fulfilment
• 31:30 What’s Next: Live Events And Growth
• 35:00 Platforms, Communities And SKOOL
• 39:10 Mentors, Humility And The Long Game
• 44:00 Closing Thanks And Where To Find Us

Transcript

Fran: 0:00

Hello everyone and welcome to the MelancholyCoaching Podcast. I'm your host and NLP coach. Join me as I interview inspiring business owners and self-improvement seekers about their experiences whilst delving into personal development, motivation and strategies for overcoming challenges. Let's ignite our creative potential together. Hello and welcome to Melancholy Coaching Podcast. I'm Fran, your NLP coach, and I'm honoured to introduce an inspiring guest. Victoria Dio is an African oracle, intuitive healer, and seer devoted to helping high-achieving leaders who look successful on the outside but feel unfulfilled within. An international speaker, she has shared her message on world-class stages from Tony Robbins events in Tenerife to influential platforms across the UK and Africa. Victoria, welcome to the show. Thank you so much, France. Thanks for having me. Oh, you're welcome. For transparency, Victoria and I have actually met in person. I've been a client of Victoria's as well, which was interesting. Which is very interesting. And we've met at a couple of events and stuff like that as well, haven't we? So it's really nice to connect with you again.

Victoria: 1:23

You too, my love. You too. What a pleasure. Thanks for asking me.

Fran: 1:27

Oh, you're welcome. So I've got a couple of questions for you, and then we'll have a chat around it if that's okay with you. And the first one that I've got, because I like to pre-prepare a couple of questions. So you're an African oracle. So how would you describe being an African Oracle to someone who's hearing the term for the first time?

Victoria: 1:48

So if anybody ever looks at any of my posts, when I talk about African Oracle, I always put in brackets, intuit and healer. It's it's a really simple way to just say that my intuition is second to none. It's quite high, especially for other people. Sometimes for myself and stuff, we have interesting conversations, but for other people, my intuition is very high. But also as a healer, I'm a pranic healer, so I use my hands to heal people remotely or face to face. And as an African oracle, when I got anointed in Africa, it was those strengths that were acknowledged and that made me that made me sort of like be anointed. So it's it sounds it is a it's a huge honor. I'm not gonna try and reduce the significance of the name or the title, but it's it's a way just to say that, you know, I use the hands and I pray to God and get all the results of my clients, which is amazing.

Fran: 2:56

Because when by saying that I've I've been a client of yours, I did one of your courses and it was a little while ago now, wasn't it? And it was based online, so it was done remotely, and it's I said interesting because it's the first time I've ever done anything like that. And it was led with a lot of visualization and a lot of delving deep within, which I found fascinating. And I I had I almost had a lot of blocks to that because I'm like because I wanted to know where it was gonna go, and it and when you lead with the intuition that will guide you, yeah.

Victoria: 3:30

And do you know what? I love it when people like yourself come in because you have no idea what to expect, and I make big promises as well, right? Like I talk about you're gonna find your purpose within a small amount of time, you know, normally 90 minutes and stuff. We've actually reduced the time to 90 minutes now. But you know, the program that you did, you found your purpose, you connected to your business and everything else. And I remember we were sat in a it was sort of like a bar slash restaurant place, and you were telling me all the things that happened. You'd yeah, when you'd passed your exams, you'd you you'd literally gone from strength to strength and you'd experienced so many blocks even beforehand. But I just want to say thank you for trusting me because you you literally were shining, you were a completely different person. You're asking well, you were, you were more confident, you were going out there and doing things, especially in a in an environment where there's a lot of people who speak very loudly, and you're not a loud person. And when people are shouting and doing this and doing that, it's very easy to feel as if you know what you're doing isn't right or isn't strong enough or isn't significant enough. And what I I and I'm not trying to put words into your mouth, I'm just remembering your your testimonial. You you said something like, but I passed, I I went and did exams that I never thought I would pass, and it gave me so much more confidence. And you there was something else you did, and it's I it's it escapes me now, but you'd you'd really achieved some major milestones that if we hadn't have dug that deep, we wouldn't have gone through those blockages. And I look at you now online, and this is not the friend who came to me a few years ago.

Fran: 5:19

Yeah, well, I've my main background has not been academic, so I struggled a lot. I left school before my exams, and it's been a you know, I've embraced adult learning, which I never thought was possible because I also didn't realize that I had a very fixed mindset. I just thought that things were the way they were and that was it. So although I'm I consider myself to be very earthy and natural, I wasn't necessarily then in it doesn't go together that you're automatically in tune with your intuition or with your inner self. You know, you think that it would go together and it doesn't necessarily work that way, does it? So for me, it's been a slow, gradual awakening as such.

Victoria: 6:03

Yeah, but the the results that you were getting were significant. And I like the fact that you say that, you know, you weren't academic because the work I do, even though I say leaders, sometimes I think people think, oh my god, when she's talking about leaders, it means they have to have a degree and work in corporate. No, so and I believe if you have influence, whether it's in your home, whether it's in the office, whether it's in a shop, you are a leader. Leaders come in different guises. And the fact that you felt as if you weren't academically led, the work I do isn't for academics, it's for the soul. The soul, this the soul has no education, it or has or it has an education of its own. And when we connect to that, incredible things happen because you open up doors that you didn't realize were within you. Hence, you know, I wish. Do you know what? I'm gonna find a photograph of you uh in one of my sessions and put it against like you just today. I'm gonna send it to you and you're gonna notice the difference. It's incredible.

Fran: 7:08

Lovely. It's interesting as well. Oh, excuse me, it's interesting as well. You're explaining about leadership because we have contextual ideas about what words mean and what words mean to us and how we interpret them. And you're absolutely right. Somebody might think of a leader as being somebody of a very top figure or in the public eye or in politics, or you know, that whatever their interpretation of leadership is. Um, so it's interesting to hear that all of us can have a leader within us, can't we? That just we didn't necessarily consider ourselves to be a leader.

Victoria: 7:42

Yeah, and I think it stems a lot from imposter syndrome, right? It's like a lot of people feel like, oh, well, that can't be me, and oh well, she's not talking about me. But then when you read the rest of it, it's like, oh, that sounds like me. The fact of the matter is, if you are a mom in a home, even if even if your kids have left home, you're still the leader of that home. Even if you're just there on your own, because you make those decisions, you make executive decisions for your home, you decide what happens when and where, and you decide who comes in and who goes out. And when you represent your home, whether you're paying a bill, whether you're speaking to somebody who just calls the phone randomly, you're acting as the person that has the information and that leads that home. Equally, in an in an organization, whether it's in corporate or you're working for yourself, you are a leader. If you are believing that anybody should be influenced by what you have to say, in whatever context, you're a leader of that space. And the sooner we we embrace that, the more empowered we're going to become. Because straight away we're going to stop hiding or shying away from the people who are presumably qualified to be leaders. When they get taught how to be leaders, and you're talking to somebody who's managed 9 billion pound contracts. You know, I'm the lady behind the Olympics. I I rolled out the Olympics for the UK 2012. And I promise you this when you go on leadership courses, you don't get taught anything different.

Fran: 9:19

This actually leads itself, talking of leadership, leads itself very nicely into my next question that I have for you, which is that I know that your clients have achieved extraordinary results, including securing multi-million pound contracts. So can you tell us about your your unique blend of intuitive leadership and the transformational techniques that you use? Oh goodness.

Victoria: 9:45

Um, yeah, I mean, I always come from the stance that we're humans first. Yeah. Okay. We're humans. My dad, God bless his soul, he used to say when I was growing up, he would say, even the queen goes to the toilet, you know, Victoria. And and he would and he would say that in a way to make you realize that leadership isn't about, it's not necessarily always about status, if that makes sense and stuff. It's so much more. And when people come to me, it's because first and foremost, they're embracing the term leadership or embracing the status that they've been given, because not everybody is a leader by choice. There's a lot of accidental leaders out there, people who go, Oh my god, oh god, I didn't realize I was a leader. And then you have the blockages either that you have consumed between the ages of naught and seven, which then hold you back, and that change the narrative on how you face the world. And then you've got life's experiences, you've got what society has seduced you with. So society believes that you need to appear a certain way. Put it this way, society will never tell you to wear a dress like this. Okay. Society will say to you, well, if you're going on a podcast, you need to dress in a certain way and look a certain way. Society will never say this. So you get seduced by society. So by the time you come into working and trying to get results, those blockages have compounded to the point where you can't see the wood for the trees. So a lot of leaders survive, they sacrifice personal fulfillment for professional success. So when by the time clients come to me, they're top to the brim with society's expectations and without any fulfillment of their own. So we go through a number of exercises, a number of experiences. Some of them, like you said, visualizations, some of them are healing. I'm very, very strict on the fact that now for you to come and start working, we've made the entry point is finding your purpose. You need to find your purpose. When you know why you were put on this earth, life is just so much more easier. And when what does that mean? It means that you start to create more opportunities quite seamlessly. You start to understand yourself and also understand what you'll tolerate in the world. You start to then realize that as a result, your relationships improve, your money improves, your your health improves. It has a knock-on effect. And we've tested it over and over again within my clients. So this particular client, she hadn't reported to me that she'd made this money. And I was at a party last September, and somebody said, Oh my god, Victoria, I've heard so much about you. Tell me about yourself. And this woman turns around and she goes, Oh my god, Victoria, because of the work we did, I just managed to sign a two and a half million pound contract. Amazing. I know. And I was like, Why am I hearing about this at a party? Um, and yeah, and she's gone on to do great things. But here's the thing: yes, she's made the money, but guess what? It's allowed her to spend time with her loved ones. She's, you know, it's allowed her to take a break out of her career as it was. It's take it's allowed her to sort of like take a moment to decide, well, is this what I still want to do? It's allowed her to feel so empowered that she's even going for bigger contracts and and collaborating with people that she probably wouldn't have collaborated with before. So, and her health, her health is so much better. Like, you know, she's completely transformed the health. So it's just had a knock-on effect on everything that she's been doing. And that's just from one uh program that she came on.

Fran: 13:37

Can we just talk a little bit about purpose? Because purpose is one of those words that can seem very, very big and unachievable.

Victoria: 13:46

Do you know what? So I want to I want to just take that away straight away. Everybody has a purpose, you're born with a purpose, okay. Somebody, I was at an event two days ago, and somebody described purpose in the most beautiful way, and I recorded it, but I haven't written it down. But he he described it like this. He said, It's that thing, he goes, is that it's that voice that you hear when you're born, okay? And when you're born, God gives you a whisper in a language that only you understand. Oh, I love that. And I know when he said it, I was about to cry. I was like, I was like, I I guarantee people their purpose, and I've never phased it like this. But and he said, and he said, and that that message and that language will stay with you, whether you move away from it or not. And when you reconnect with it, it's as if you've always known it. And then once you pay attention and you're obedient to it, you start to create the results that you really want. That's what your purpose is. Everybody is born with a purpose. So I always use the example of the chair that I'm sat with, this big chair behind me. This chair was designed for me to sit on it, it was designed for people to sit on it. Now, we could attach wheels to it and even add a steering wheel in front of it, and even add an engine into it, and it would kind of move, it would kind of get traction. But in in the process of doing it, it's gonna break down because the material isn't sturdy enough for an engine, it's gonna be dangerous, so I could easily fall down and die, heaven forbid. There could be so many things that happen, and that's what happens when you don't fulfill your purpose. You experience either physical or emotional ailments that make you feel uncomfortable, make you feel as if something's missing, make you realize do you know what? There's something just not right. And then when you meet someone like me who can give you a purpose, and I've I keep promising to do this and I still haven't done it, but with clients who get their purpose, we've got videos of them before they get their purpose and after, and it's almost like the light's been switched on, and they go, Oh my god. And it completely makes sense, and they may have touched on part of that purpose purpose in their past, or it may just be in the language that they understand and they go, That's it.

Fran: 16:08

But do you think there's also a possibility that sometimes people know their purpose but think that it's not for them? 100%, 100%. Um their limiting beliefs, possibly.

Victoria: 16:19

100%. So there's people who know who have an idea of what their purpose is and they think it's too big. Also, it's been narrated in a language that they may not understand, which is why, again, when people come to me, it makes more sense and we go through a period of time where they learn how to receive the purpose and embody the purpose. Because here it's one thing knowing your purpose, but if you don't understand it and you don't embody it, then you can't adapt it to your life or to your career or to whatever it is that you're trying to do. So, yes, there's a lot of people that know the purpose, but they don't know the how. When people come to me, they don't just get the purpose, they also get the instructions, and this is where the intuition is amazing. The the instructions tell them what to do, it gives them a plan, and then we fall into, and this is something that I give away as a bonus. I give people six weeks afterwards with me, where they learn how to embody their purpose, like they get to understand their purpose, they get to understand, and also how they can self-sabotage that purpose as well. Because I know so many people, like see it happen all the time, where people are so amazed at what they do, they've they've hit it on the nail, they've hit the nail on the head, they know why they're here, and they keep on self-sabotaging, which means it takes them off the rail track of purpose and puts them in a place of chaos.

Fran: 17:48

Are there any specific reasons as to why people self-sabotage? Or are they just very general, very varied reasons?

Victoria: 17:58

So you've you've mentioned beliefs. Yeah. There's I this here's the thing, in life, and it's funny because from the from the Christian perspective, people go, oh, you know, Satan, the devil, and stuff like he's there to sort of like knock you off your off your track. But if you look at it from a more everyday everyday understanding, your ego doesn't want you to succeed. Doesn't never has isn't happy when you do. And we've all got ego, haven't we? We all have, we all have, which is why when people go, oh my god, I don't have ego, it's like no, but you can you you can suppress the ego to go for what you want. It's not permanent, but you can suppress it to go for what you want. So what tends to happen is you'll get you'll as soon as you have a great idea, and you're oh my god, it's amazing. I promise you, it doesn't matter who it is, it keeps going, have you got enough time? Can you do it? Have you got enough money? What are people gonna say? Like, and it and it's almost like your ego keeps throwing in all these different thoughts until the one that triggers you stops you from doing it, which is why you need to learn how to receive your purpose and also navigate your way through it. So there's a saying that says, you know, beware of the storm, and then the response is but I am the storm. It's like you have to become the storm to go through it. Like nobody who has who is successful hasn't had a storm to conquer. We all we we all have storms, right? And we're all more powerful than what we give ourselves credit for. But the thing is, we tend to forget the storms as soon as we come out the other end, and then we we then our ego then makes us forget all the storms we've experienced and then reminds us that we're not strong enough. So then we keep on giving up and not succeeding. Your ego is happiest when you're miserable, when you're complaining. Yeah, it it's it's very happy because then it just sits there and goes, Great, we're not achieving anything, and this is exactly where I want you to be. As soon as you start to move forward, your ego steps in, and when you listen to your ego, that's where your self-sabotage comes in. That's what your self-sabotage is. So everybody will self-sabotage if somebody says to you that they don't, they're lying. If somebody says to you that they don't have an ego, they're lying, they're either lying or they don't know what they're talking about.

Fran: 20:24

It potentially, yeah, I was just gonna say potentially they don't realize that it's a lie. So because they're not relating to that's what it is, you know, they're not realizing that that's what it is. It's interesting as well, Victoria, that you're saying about receiving the purpose, because receiving also means giving yourself permission.

Victoria: 20:45

Yeah, so it's been a learning curve for me as well. So initially, when I used to, years ago, when I started giving people their purpose and I realized that that's something that I could do, I would give people the purpose and then go, great, there you go. And then I'd see, yeah, see, yeah, and then I'd see people leave, and the idea wouldn't do anything with the purpose. And one of the things that really sort of like sort of like gets on my nerves is that I hate it when people have something and they don't use it. So then I'm going, but why why haven't they done anything with it? Now I realize that again, like you said, the purpose is so big, you're going, I'm not so sure if this is for me, or it makes sense, but I don't know where to go. So then I went within myself and thought, okay, so how can I support people? Because to me, it's not just about the program, it's not just about how much you get paid, it's making sure that people leave fulfilled and happy. So, how can I make that happen? And that's where my six-week clarity and alignment program came in, where I was like, okay, so you come in and you get your purpose, but anybody that does also gets free access to the six weeks where you come in and every week for six weeks we'll meet as part of a group and we'll go through your purpose and also knock down all those beliefs so that by the end of it, you are creating so much in results in money and everything else. So the last event that we just had, we had people who had their best months ever in business. We had people who were asking and quoting for more in their jobs with regards to pay than they ever had done. We had we had quotes that were over 200% higher than they'd ever put through that were being accepted. I know we're talking about money, but it's a way to measure. Does that make sense? It's a way to measure, but also we're talking about homes being karma. You know, we've got kids in there that teenagers in the homes that are sort of like erratic. We've got ADHD kids and stuff. The homes are karma because all of a sudden the mom or the dad knows what they're meant to be doing, so they're not focusing or wasting energy where it's not needed. It's like they're focusing it in places where they know that they're gonna get the results. And again, the results aren't just financial, they're emotional, they're physical and everywhere else. But receiving is so important. It's almost like me giving you a telly and you never switch it on. What's the point? So you need to you need to be able to have it, switch it on, and then decide how are you gonna use that telly? So, are you gonna use it for entertainment? Are you gonna use it for you know for education? What are you gonna use it for? When are you gonna use it? Who else are you gonna tell about this? Like it's then it's that knock-on effect. And once you go through that process, you you stop even thinking about it as your purpose, it just becomes your part of your being.

Fran: 23:43

So, purpose isn't ornamental, it's not just meant for us to know it's there and gaze at lovingly on occasion.

Victoria: 23:51

Yeah, I mean, again, you when you get to that point where you're making it ornamental, then that's where your ego's stepping in because your ego's going, let's make it something that it's not, let's let's let's distract you. Is is that anybody who's on purpose? And you so let me think of somebody who's really successful. So, Richard Branson, he's somebody who he started off not knowing that was his purpose, he just wanted to have fun, and then as soon as he started to realize that he had a purpose, he became more responsible with the way he served the world, but also that's when he started tapping into his intuition. So his intuition was almost like, wow, I've got this extra tool that I can use that I didn't know was there, but it only came because he started to realize that, oh my God, I'm here for something bigger. And when I look at what I'm doing, I can serve better. And all of a sudden, you could see that certain businesses of his closed down and he focused on other areas. Like it's it's a whole thing, and your purpose doesn't need to be perfect straight away. That's another mistake that people make. The thing that, oh my God, because I've got my purpose, life is perfect. No, when you have your purpose, you and you and you receive it, you have a duty to roll that out, but with it also come lessons, and those lessons can come in the form of chaos. Some of them could come in the form of rewards, but when you're on purpose, you you're more on a steady train of not creating as much chaos that you could do if you weren't on purpose. Okay, but it's like because your focus is I know I'm here to serve X, Y, and Z. I know that. So, okay, being battered here, maybe people are talking about me, maybe, maybe family are giving me grief, maybe I'm not getting the support that I want, maybe my bank account's empty, but I know I'm here to serve X, and you just keep going no matter what, one day at a time. Yeah, they don't have to be changes.

Fran: 25:52

So it's so it's it would you say that it's similar or the same as being in alignment? Is that what the purpose brings? Does it bring an alignment?

Victoria: 26:00

It does bring an alignment, yes. It does bring it. It's not I I don't believe it's necessarily I know people talk about alignment a lot. That's not all it is, is it? It's not all it is, but it yeah, but yeah, but alignment is part of it. But with the alignment, you need to also with alignment, you also need other ways of thinking, ways of living. And as human beings, none of us are perfect, so none of us are going to be completely aligned all the time, it just doesn't happen, but that's okay.

Fran: 26:35

Yeah, of course it is, and it's it's and there's no judgment for any of this either, is there? Because we're all at different stages of our you know, of our development or our awareness.

Victoria: 26:45

100%. And that's something that we need to realize is you see, when you're on purpose, you stop comparing yourself to somebody else. When you're on purpose, you start to realize that what you've got is so special that even if somebody took your whole notepad and copied it, they would never ever ever replicate what you've created. And perfection isn't part of it.

Fran: 27:06

And perfectionism could be part of being held back, though, couldn't it? So that could be part of something because you're you're waiting until something's put, so it's holding you in a place where you're not gonna move forward.

Victoria: 27:22

Yeah, so this is where your ego comes into play as well, because your ego tells you or lies to you and says, We're gonna do it really well when this happens. So let's wait for this, and then this never happens, right? Or when it happens, it's never, it's almost like an anticlimax, and what have you. That's why a lot of people, I have a lot of people who come to me who identify as perfectionists and they are miserable, miserable, because they can never attain perfectionism, it doesn't exist, it does not exist, and people people come to me because they're experiencing pain from it, and some of them come to me because they believe that it is an accolade to have. None of them are happy. I've never met I've never met a happy perfectionist.

Fran: 28:11

There's there's also a thing about wanting things to feel right, or you know, having your ducks in a row as such, so you know, when this happens and that happens, but potentially if perfectionism is in there as well, you're not going to move forward, are you? So generally, I know that certain stages that I've been in previously with my life journey, I wouldn't have identified what was holding me back.

Victoria: 28:38

Yeah, see, again, you're when we when we hear of perfectionism, I blame social media. I think social media that's a very bold statement to make. I do, I do. I do, I do I sound so old saying it though, and I spend a lot of time on social media, and I love being on social media, but sometimes the narrative, the narrative makes it makes it sound a lot more than what it is. Like I've seen people go to events, like really big events, and they come out feeling like they need to be perfect. I'll give you an example. I love going to Tony Robbins events, they're amazing, and they're very powerful and loud and everything else and stuff. And and Tony talks about standards. People misinterpret that with perfection, and they come out trying to be perfect and trying to be like robots who, you know, it's like you hear people talk and they're all like robots trying to achieve something. And I'm like, Were you paying attention in that room? Because when Tony was talking, I didn't see a perfect guy. I I saw a guy who has messed up so many times, he's on his second marriage. He's even he tells stories of his children who aren't perfect, and he talks about himself where he loses his rag. Like that whole thing of people that. Want people don't want to get angry. Oh no, I don't want to get angry. Oh God, you know, I only want to talk about positive thinking. So it's like you're a human being. You're a human being. Do you know one of the things that I ask my clients to do sometimes? I'm like, go go into a field and just scream. And if I read it, I'm like, yeah. Just go scream, sway your head off if you have to. Do what you need to do and then come back and recalibrate. Because you're a human being, you can't be perfect. It it doesn't exist.

Fran: 30:29

What you're I like it that you mentioned recalibrate. Yeah, because a lot of that's to do with you know being able to identify your emotions and the emotional awareness and stuff like that. Because we've we've all got these things. Like I'm I'm generally a very calm person, but I'm also a multifaceted human being. So yes, I feel jealousy, I feel resentment, I but I choose I choose not to. I don't want to feel that. So I just sit with it for a little while.

Victoria: 30:59

But also, is that it's almost like realizing that as a human being, so there's a reason why these emotions have been identified. Okay. Okay. There's a reason there's a reason why these emotions exist. There's a reason why they've been described in in the dictionary, because the truth of the matter is they're human emotions. However, awareness is all about choosing the emotions that you want to spend your time with, and uh and almost like quieting down the emotions that don't serve you. So somebody may go, yeah, but how can I do that? Equally, as you may decide that you don't want to create the emotion around I don't know, of being happy, you could equally just choose to be sad. So I know some people who it doesn't matter what time of day you ask them how they're doing, they've got a complaint and they'll complain all day long. But I've got other people who, if you speak to them most of the time, they're generally happy. Now, I I believe all of that is a choice. You have to decide which side of the bed you wake up in the morning. So I'm someone who, in general, I would say about 95% of the time, if you speak to me, meet me and stuff, I'm in a good mood. But it's a choice, it is a choice, and I promise you, it wasn't always like that. Like I used to complain, and then I wonder, I was just like, this isn't serving me. So, and I prefer to wake up knowing that I'm setting the tone of my day. It doesn't mean I don't have problems.

Fran: 32:34

It doesn't mean I've got a share for you now. Oh, go on. I've got a little share. Now, this is something that I've actually stated before, okay. Within I've had years of of being challenged with depression. It's a part of my being very quiet and very internal. You know, I had a lot of depression to to work through. And I enjoyed feeling sad because it was a safe place, it kept it held me safe. It didn't, you know, I didn't have to interact with people because I was sad, you know. So it was almost like a comfortable place to be until it wasn't.

Victoria: 33:09

Yeah.

Fran: 33:10

You know, until I I couldn't, you know, do anything about it. And around that time, if I know for a fact that if somebody had said to me you could choose to be happy, I I would have felt like maybe punching them in the face or running away. I wouldn't have done it, but you know, running away or something because how could they say that to me? That's such an awful thing, such that's a lie. Now I realize that we can choose our our states. We can choose these moments, or you know, it's not about I never feel sad. Yes, I do. I choose to be happy. So what can I do about it? What resources have I got? What can help me?

Victoria: 33:49

Yeah, and also not doing it on your own. So for anybody out there that watches this and thinks, you know what, I'm depressed, and how dare you say, you know, I make a choice and stuff, but it's also a choice to just speak to someone, speak to someone and let them see you through it and what have you. It's not we're not magically all or tr trivializing what's the word, depression. It's it's more the fact that don't do it in on your own and allow people to help you, and then you'll start to realize that other emotions come up as well. There are times when I have very rarely, but there are times when I just have those days where I just want to stay in bed and I'll just I'll just stay in bed. I'm like, this is my day when I don't want to talk to anyone.

Fran: 34:36

And I that's okay, isn't it? That's okay.

Victoria: 34:38

That's okay. And most people who know me will be really surprised about that. But here's the one thing that I'll do I'll say to myself, fine, you can stay in bed, you can watch movies, you can get a takeaway if you want. However, after today, tomorrow, you get back up and join the real world. And I go, okay, deal. And I tell you what, every time I do it, I feel amazing. It rarely happens, but when I do it, it's fantastic.

Fran: 35:03

And I feel that a lot of my there's very complex reasons for my many years of depression, and some of it actually lends itself to that sense of purpose. You know, what am I here for? I felt like I was just a stepping stone for everything and everybody else, and that you know, that that was my that was my place on the planet, kind of thing, and it made me feel very sad. So part of it I didn't realize it was finding that sense of purpose to actually allow myself to shine as you know, the the human being that I choose to be.

Victoria: 35:38

Yeah, and you know what? When you're that stepping stone or when you feel like you're that stepping stone, because it's also a narrative, right? But when you feel like you're that stepping stone or stuff, you don't feel loved, do you? Because you feel as if that love is is all conditional, is all conditional and what have you. And you think to yourself, hang on, why? And that's why having a purpose is so important because you start to create boundaries. That's one of the things we talk about when during the six weeks, we talk about boundaries, we talk about money, we talk about, but we talk about money from from a from a very intuitive space as opposed to you know, money mindset kind of thing and stuff like that. We go so deep because here's the thing is like when you know your purpose, you start to realize that not everybody in your life is meant to be there, and not everybody has the the right to have as much access to you as as they think they do, and you become a lot more powerful, and you you stand more in your space and go, do you know what? I'm gonna have you where maybe I'll speak to you maybe every three months, and that's okay because that's what's right for me. And also it fits in with my purpose and how I'm gonna roll out and serve the world, you know what I mean? Which means if I speak to you every day or every week like we used to, you're gonna get on my nerves and you're gonna ruin my mood for for for what I'm trying to do. But the more you go into this thing, you start to realize that even when these people come in and they're already here every day, they won't impact your mood. That's where I'm at. It's that I don't, I don't let any, not even my mum, and I love my mom to death, that I won't even let my mum affect my my service, what I'm doing. I won't allow it. I just won't do it. I if she starts a conversation that is a bit sort of like triggering and stuff, I go, let's have a conversation later. I said, but you're not gonna ruin this for me because I have this to do. And she goes, Oh, I go, yeah, but I'll speak to you later. I love you, and I put the phone down. I won't like I won't allow it because I know my I know why I'm here and I'm so obsessed with it, maybe to a point, maybe that's not very healthy, but I'm so obsessed with my purpose that I know I know why I'm here and it's non-negotiable.

Fran: 37:44

Yeah, yeah, I like that as well, that it's non-negotiable. Yeah, and the thing, the thing about boundaries, there's a whole nother conversation that I'm not gonna completely get into now. Because that's something that I else that I didn't understand. I don't think I had any. That's for another day. What I want to ask you is what's next for you, Victoria?

Victoria: 38:02

Oh, what's next? So goodness. So by the time that by it's by the time everybody's heard of this, it would have happened, but in a couple of weeks, I am I'm hosting my first live event for six years. And it's called Yeah, it's called an audience with the African Oracle, and I can't wait. It's it I want to really go back on the road doing live events, and I want to meet people. I'm somebody who, when people meet, they gravitate towards, and I want to spend more time in that space with people that I can help. So I want to sort of like create more in-person events. What else is next? There's a lot of growth in in the business, and I'm excited to sort of like bring on new clients. Oh, that's what I was gonna say to you before I go. That so we're talking about emotions. I had a client yesterday who came to me crying just to give you an came to me crying. She was like, Oh my god, I don't think I can do anything. Within less than an hour, she completely changed her stance, her voice had changed, and she was the happiest person I'd ever seen. It's just to show you that we can move emotions, but yeah, back to what's what happens next and stuff. It's more about just growing and having new opportunities. I'm talking to some clients at the moment in companies, doing some more stages, didn't do that many stages this year. I really stayed away from a lot of events this year, went to very, very few. But yeah, the the in-person events are are the big one, and I'm really excited. We've just got the venue and it's stunning.

Fran: 39:33

Oh, amazing. I love that. Um especially because like we've actually you know met at some events as well, and I I do know that you're uh you you light up the room, you know. There's there's no kind of denying that you're you're in the space. It's almost like you can feel that you're there before you know you enter the room.

Victoria: 39:54

So thank you. I've had to own that and and and being and realizing that when I'm in the room, whilst I light up the room, it's not an egotist, egotistical thing, it's the benefit it has on other people, and that's where you want to do this.

Fran: 40:08

I I never took it in an egotistical way, it was in a welcoming way. Thank you. Thank you so much. Right. So thank you, Victoria, for sharing your wisdom, your warm, your powerful insights as well. I enjoyed this conversation. And for those of you interested in learning more about Victoria and her work, you can find her on Instagram, Victoria Dio, and that's D-I-O-H, if I've got it right. On LinkedIn, Victoria Dio, and you're on TikTok as well, which is interesting. I quite like TikTok. And you've also got something on school. Do I do so? Do you want to tell us a little bit about that?

Victoria: 40:46

Yeah, so I moved, I'm gradually moving my group over to school for a number of reasons. I mean, I love Facebook, but Facebook has started deleting a lot of videos and stuff, so it's like there's no guarantee of what's there, what's not there. And I know a lot of people who have got big groups and we're not just getting the reach that we want. And what have you mean?

Fran: 41:08

I I got deleted completely, so I had to start again. Yeah, yeah. All my my account got all taken down. So by school, this is spelled SKO L, and it's actually a platform, isn't it, on which you can create groups and courses.

Victoria: 41:22

Yeah, so it's you you pay for it, but there's ways, I promise you, there's ways you can go on and make it work for you so that you don't so that you don't have to pay. But it's it starts at like nine dollars a month if you have a school account. It's it's created by Alex Homozy, who recently had like a hundred million dollar launch by selling his book. But yeah, so I've been I've been on there as a client in other people's groups, and I really like it. It's very interactive, it's got a lot of gamification. But the most important thing, because I think a lot of people on Facebook go, oh my god, but I'll I won't get the alerts. I promise you, it's got it's got an app, and you you'll always receive emails once you've been tagged or once something's been said in your group, or you'll get a message through your app to say that there's a message waiting for you. It's really, really good. I like it. I spent a lot of time on it, and I've just worked with somebody yesterday who's gonna help me launch it properly. So come on in.

Fran: 42:20

Oh, amazing. You mentioned Alex Hormose. I watch a lot of his YouTube videos. Um do you know what?

Victoria: 42:27

It's like I've always seen him and I like him and stuff like that. Well, I wouldn't say I liked him, I liked his ideas and I've loved what he's done in acquisition.com. Should I get him to pay me for advertising his work? That yeah, I love the stuff he's done on acquisition.com. But this launch, this recent launch, I really tapped into the humane side of him because he always seems like someone who's just like go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And this time around, I don't know if it's because it's Layla, his wife, who really came into it and stuff, but it was just a beautiful thing to see. And to watch someone make a hundred million dollars in like what a day was just sensational to watch. And he's he's had school for quite a while now. I also follow Russell Brunson, who I met last year, and who is the most incredible human being I've ever met. He's so kind and lovely and down to earth, and just no bars hold. He'll talk to anybody anytime. And he's got school and he used it a lot. And I just thought, you know what, I'm gonna I'm gonna use this. And as luck would have it, somebody approached me to help me be a case study to help me set me up on school. So I'm taking it with two hands and running with it.

Fran: 43:37

Yeah, and so some of this as well for it for people listening is that you can find your um creators or your you know, your leaders or your your business people that you like their information, you can consume their content or you know, go into their courses and stuff like that. I've got certain people that I like to listen to, you know, especially because I'm more based on YouTube, so there's a lot of kind of creators on there, even people that have been around for many years, you know. I still listen to their their content. And if you want to get that sense of purpose and you know, lean into your own leadership and be the person that other people look to, then you've got things to to help people, haven't you? You've got things to guide people.

Victoria: 44:27

100%, 100%. Just come on a table.

Fran: 44:30

We've all got we can all have a place at the table, can't we? You know, you can admire people, but they are just people.

Victoria: 44:36

They're just people. There's eight billion of us in this world, and we all have problems. There is a saying that the perfect people you know are the people you don't know very well. We've all got stuff going on with us. We've like nobody's nobody's perfect. I promise you this. Nobody's perfect. And and it's one of the reasons why I lean a lot towards Russell Brunson. I met him last year, and in a space where normally people would have entourages, he came on his own with his two boys, with his twins, and and he was just hanging around and talking to people. And this is somebody who made three and a half million dollars in an hour. And and it and he was just like, and he was so nice. And do you know what he follows me on Instagram now? Oh lovely. He's just such a you know, this is someone who's done over a billion pounds in sales and just down to earth. And my advice is know why you're here so that you can then approach these people and have really powerful conversations with them. And if you want to know anything at all, you know, I'm here and stuff. Fran's doing incredible stuff. Speak to this woman, speak to this woman. Yeah, but the thing is though, Fran, it's like when people see you when you're when you're growing and stuff, it's like you've you've paid the price, you've earned your stripes, and and when people you you can help a lot of people because they'll be able to relate to you a lot more. You don't need to be shouting from the rooftops, but you're doing so well, you're you're always on my TikTok. I always see you on TikTok.

Fran: 46:10

And a lot of this stuff does not always happen overnight, does it? There's there's always a journey involved, there's always a pathway involved, isn't there, of that evolution and that growth.

Victoria: 46:20

And yeah, I wrote a post the other day and I said it was my 10-year overnight success. That anybody who you really want to get to know, when you hear how they got their overnight success, they've been doing stuff for like 10, 20 years. Nobody gets it just straight away. You have to earn your place 100%. And if you don't, and if you don't earn your place, so in my corporate career, I didn't earn my place, but I I literally rose very quickly. At some point, life goes, okay, it's time now for you to earn your place. And that was in my business. So my business is a lot more incremental. My in my career, I increased my salary by 140% in nine months. In my business, it's been a lot more of a slower trajectory, but with phenomenal results equally.

Fran: 47:06

Yeah, amazing. So again, thank you, Victoria. Thank you, Victoria. I've absolutely loved this. It's really nice to connect with you again. So if you're interested in more content like this, be sure to visit www.melancolymentor.com. That's me, and follow us for the latest updates. And until next time, stay curious, keep igniting your creative potential, and go and find Victoria.

Victoria: 47:33

Thank you.

Fran: 47:33

So whether that be on Instagram or on LinkedIn or on TikTok, or if you're interested in school, then you know contact Victoria and she'll tell you more about it. Thank you. Bye. Thank you for joining me on the Melancholy Coaching Podcast. I'd love you to subscribe for queries or to connect, email info at melancholymentor.com. Until next time, keep igniting your creative potential.